Interviewing 101

I vaguely remember my first interview as being one of bodily strain. I seem to recall being numb from the neck down, and as I entered the multi-story building of my first job request, I believed I knew nothing about anything any longer.

The man I interviewed was maybe 10 years older than I was. He was very soft, laidback and easy to talk with. I think I love this man to this day. Oddly enough he hired me.

In subsequent interviews, as I look back, I know full well it was something human within me that guided me in how to do this rigorous undertaking by making me aware of the assessor and everything that was happening in front of me. Once I started doing that, many things started to be clearer.

Early in this endeavor I discovered that sometimes the person across from me was nervous also. This was a complete surprise, but I knew exactly the emotion I was looking at. So, I switched immediately from being frozen to having enormous empathy for my interviewer. He/she was just like me.

I remember oddly enough trying to draw this person out. Getting them to talk seemed logical. I was always less anxious once I started to talk, so I assumed this interviewer was constructed within the same mental way. What little I remember of that first awareness was that this interviewer did become less concerned talking about his or her self.

Over the years I began to adopt an emotion that served me very well. I would adopt kindness in my eyes and tone from the moment I met this person with whom I was seeking a job. Maybe over the years I began to empathize with both of us.

Some people obviously had been forced into this assignment and had to put their own voluminous work on hold. This left them uncertain as to how to proceed with this conversation. To these uncomfortable people I always pointed out that I knew they were making a sacrifice of their own work, and I definitely commiserated.

I also discovered something that is obvious to many people. Getting the interviewer to talk about their self was always easy. Some executives simply had not been asked how they felt about their job, the company, and the people with whom they worked. My asking these questions always resulted in mutual sameness. We suddenly were on the same side.

Over five decades I did get jobs easily with a variety of interviewers. Some were cocky, and I found these people the most boring. Their opinion of themselves, it seemed to me, was vastly overstated.

Another type person I met frequently during the interview process was the controller. I could pick them out by their walk. Everything about them seemed deliberate. Now I wonder if they were very good at mindfulness which is still a challenge for me.

Once in a while I would be interviewed by a truly human being. Sadly, there were a lot fewer of these than any other type. Whenever I encountered them, I knew I wanted to work in their organization. They had survived as a person, and maybe I would too.

But I formed a rigid view about tests for employment. I refused to take any because I believed in the quality of my resume. If the person I was meeting with did not trust me or my well-planned document, I considered our situation hopeless.

I never groveled to an examiner, but I hope I never behaved as though I were superior. Tests, to me, seemed to question my integrity. Refusing to take such a test always confused the interviewer. Saying “No, I am not going to do that.” Once with a cocky lawyer I asked “Would you?”

I began to form questions during these interviews that served me well. Was this person on time? Did they look well dressed? Had they prepared for this meeting? Did they speak loyally about their staff, the company and the particular job being discussed? And most important, would I hire this person?

Any criticism of my resume I considered stupid and vain on the interviewer’s part. It was also sudden death for the company they represented. Saying “Can we move on?” certainly indicated I did not agree with them in the slightest. Some interviewers were clearly looking for fun at anyone’s expense.

I heard a quote that I liked a lot. “Be kind. Be kind. Be kind.” Kindness was my emotion the first moment I met the interviewer. No one can fail with anyone doing just that.